Torn
by Ginny3
Summary: Jed and Abbey, Post ep for Abu El Banat


Torn-post ep for Abu El Banat  
  
By Ginny vkinneman@aol.com  
  
Want to read more West Wing and ER stories, stop by www.gkinneman.com  
  
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From her spot on the Truman balcony Abbey could see the lights of the tree flick off and on. She couldn't tell if it was her husband or her grandson manning the switch. Could have been either of them.  
  
She had watched them as they walked down the hall on their way outside. Jed had changed into jeans and boots while he had just put on Gus's boots and coat on over his pajamas. They had made quite a pair as they trudged out into the snow. Jed had a spring in his step that he hadn't had in months. And Gus was beside himself as he had his Grandpa all to himself for a little while.  
  
One last flick of the switch and Jed picked up Gus for the walk back. By the time Abbey met them on the portico it was clear Gus was almost asleep in Jed's arms. Jed handed him to her with a groan. "He's getting way too big," he mumbled with a grin.  
  
"Or you're just getting old," teased Abbey as they made their way back to the residence. Jed took her free hand, making it the first time he initiated contact in way too long. Together they took off Gus's boots and coat before tucking him back in to bed.  
  
"I'm going to stay for a few minutes," whispered Jed as Abbey kissed Gus on the forehead and got up to leave.  
  
"OK. Do you want me to see if there's anything left from dinner?" she asked from the doorway.  
  
"Nah, I'm ok."  
  
"Jed, what have you eaten today? Besides half an apple," Abbey asked with slight annoyance in her voice. He just shrugged his shoulders and gave a sheepish grin. "That's what I thought. Why don't you finish up here, take a warm shower and I'll see what I can salvage from dinner."  
  
"It was an entire ham dinner Abigail, I think you'll be able to find something," he teased as he turned his attention back to Gus.  
  
Jed watched his grandson for a few minutes, completely enthralled with the sleeping child. Gus was only a baby when he'd first run for President. That kind of schedule hadn't lent itself to spending a lot of time with Gus and Annie back then. Something Jed deeply regretted, just as he had regrets about not spending enough time with his own children. All the talk about MS and assisted suicide during the day had Jed thinking about things to come. And how he would like to spend whatever time he had before his body and mind betrayed him.  
  
Gus rolled over, reaching in his sleep for the teddy bear next to the pillow. Jed tucked it under the covers with him, kissed him once more and headed for a warm shower.  
  
"I see you managed to find something," teased Jed as he leaned against the door jamb and watched Abbey set out a plate of ham sandwiches and pour some tea. SHe looked up at her husband with a smile. He was in his pajamas and slippers, not having bothered to even comb his hair after his shower. He looked adorable and her annoyed feelings were pushed aside for the time being.  
  
"HAve a seat. You want mustard or mayo?"  
  
"Mustard," replied Jed as he poured a little sugar in his tea and absently stirred it while enjoying the sight of Abbey leaning over and rooting through the refrigerator.  
  
"Enjoy the view?" she asked as she reached over Jed's shoulder to put the mustard on the table. Not being able to resist she ran her fingers through his damp hair smoothing it in place. She put her arms around him from behind and rested her chin on the top of his head for a second before joining him at the table.  
  
Jed picked at his food, not eating much at all. Abbey said nothing but made a mental note to get on his case soon about his eating and sleeping habits. Her improved mood was starting to fade but she wasn't exactly sure why.   
  
THe girls all wandered in while they ate. They picked at some food and went on their way. Liz headed to find her husband while Ellie and Zoey wandered back to the West Wing where the gang was holding an impromptu poker game. Ellie and Zoey kissed their parents good night while Liz just made a quiet exit much to Jed's disappointment.  
  
"Give her time," Abbey said with an edge to her voice before getting up to clear the table. "Why don't you go lay down. You look like you're about to fall over," Abbey said, her attitude towards Jed vacillating between slight concern and slight annoyance.  
  
"I'm ok," Jed mumbled his reply anything but reassuring. He got up from the table and helped clear. He sat at the island while Abbey washed the dishes and wiped off the table. She glanced at Jed every few minutes, not happy with what she saw. He was pale with dark circles under his eyes that never seemed to go away any more. She could see the exhaustion in his posture, the way he slumped over, his hand propping up his chin. He looked minutes away from putting his head down on the island and falling asleep. This is exactly how Abbey found him after checking on Gus one last time.  
  
Abbey grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and walked around the island. "Jed, wake up," she said as she tapped his shoulder.  
  
"Huh?" he mumbled as he sat up and tried to figure out where he was.  
  
"Come to bed," she whispered. Jed gave her a weary smile and slid off the stool. Even though he and Abbey had slept in the same bed since she returned from Manchester it was still a shock to him when she took his hand and led the way. Things between them were still far from normal; they had yet to take part in any "recreational activities." And with how exhausted he was, Jed knew nothing recreational would be taking place that night. But curling up with Abbey was enough for him.   
  
When they reached the bedroom Abbey steered him towards the bathroom and then crossed the room to grab a pair of pajamas out of the dresser. She put them on quickly and when she heard Jed start to brush his teeth she pushed the door open and walked in. She sat on the counter next to the sink and waited while Jed spit out the toothpaste. "Did you give yourself a shot this morning?" she asked as she reached for her own toothbrush. A completely innocent question, or so she thought.  
  
"There used to be a time when you didn't have to ask. You used to know exactly what days I got the Betaseron and what days I didn't," Jed sighed, instantly sorry he'd actually said that. Abbey said nothing but gave him a look that he correctly took to mean, it's late, don't start with me. "Yes, I gave myself a shot this morning," mumbled Jed as he absently rubbed the injection site on his right thigh.  
  
"Did you take the second dose of Advil?"  
  
Jed looked at her for a second, "Does it look like I remembered to take it?" he spit out as he turned on the faucet to get a drink. He turned it with much more force than necessary and ended up spraying cold water on himself. "Damn it," he muttered as he all but stormed out of the bathroom. Abbey finished brushing her teeth and shook a couple of Advil out of the bottle. She walked back into the bedroom and held out her hand towards Jed. He eyed the pills with a look of disdain but making the wisest choice possible he took the pills without a word. Abbey was surprised he didn't refuse to take them out of spite or something like that.  
  
"What the hell is happening here Abigail?" Jed asked, not sure if he really wanted to get into a heavy duty conversation in his exhausted state.  
  
"I don't know," admitted Abbey as she pulled back the covers and sat on the edge of the bed.   
  
"Could we not do this tonight?" he pleaded. The hint of whining that crept into his voice touched something inside of Abbey. She was torn, torn between the love she had for the man she married and annoyance at the way it was beginning to seem like they couldn't spend more than 10 minutes in each other's company without wanting to rip each other limb from limb.   
  
"Fine," she sighed as she reached to turn out the light. Jed crept under the covers, staying on his side of the bed until he was given some kind of sign that it was ok to reach out to his wife. With a sigh Abbey turned on her side to face Jed. He tentatively moved to touch her cheek, happy when she didn't pull away.  
  
"Did you really mean what you said?"  
  
"I've said many, many things today Jed," said Abbey flatly.   
  
"You'll be there...at the end?" he asked as he rolled over onto his stomach and rested his chin on his crossed arms. His question struck her in a way it wasn't meant to. Jed had just wanted to hear the answer again. He didn't really think she had changed her mind.  
  
"Josiah Edward, when I married you it was forever. For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health," Abbey whispered as she snuck her hand under his t-shirt and gently rubbed his back. Jed didn't turn to look at her. He stared at the headboard as he felt hot tears start to prick at his eyes. Abbey watched as the first tear slid down his cheek. Almost against her will she reached out to wipe it away. "Truce? At least for now," she whispered as she ran her fingers through his hair. Jed turned his head towards her and gave an almost imperceptible nod. Shutting her eyes against her own tears Abbey kissed his forehead and pulled him to her, settling his head on her shoulder.   
  
Jed fell asleep quickly as the long day caught up with him. As Abbey watched him sleep she began to think about just how precious life was, how unpredictable. She realized that by fighting with Jed she was just wasting time. And she had no idea how much time they had left. She prayed for guidance and understanding, for the strength to work through their problems and for the healing of their whole family. 


End file.
